Here we are in August. I have just posted a birthday card to my brother Andrew and called in at the Rosary afterwards. Still feeling very tired; so I kept to the bottom quarter of the cemetery, but it was very beautiful. Sat for a while, then wandered home. Wish I didn’t feel so tired. They have cut a lot of the top of the tree in the car park of the Norfolk Wildlife Trust, and out kitchen is much brighter. Dot has been working on the garden so that we can have eight people round (including us) for Cake and Compline next week. I think she’s succeeded.

Yesterday was a good day, though I worried that I might be taking on too much. We went to church, which was the St Augustine’s community meeting at St Luke’s, because it’s much bigger. Went pretty well. I did the sermon, and Dot did the prayers. Quite a large number of people there, including Jenny. Phil was leading. Afterwards we hung around outside and chatted for a bit, then went home for lunch.

In the afternoon we drove to Beachamwell, just the other side of Swaffham, which is about 50 minutes away, to have tea and scones with Anne and James Whittet, with whom we had been to Israel. We already knew them quite well, because James is a poet and worked with us on some of the Paston stuff. He comes from Islay and is very quiet. He writes a lot of sonnets. Also there was Sarah Carter, who also came to Israel and lives at Litcham. She is training to become a vicar and will make a very good one, I should think. We all had a really interesting conversation because we shared the same background and interests.

We sat in Anne and James’ garden, which was very rural and beautiful. Next to us was a big lavender bush covered with bees. The weather was just right: warm but not too hot, and enough cloud to avoid our getting sunburn.

The previous day was the Cup Final, in which Arsenal beat Chelsea 2-1 (the wrong result for Spurs). The day before we had a visit from an electrician, who proved to be alarmingly thorough. We told him what we wanted, and he told us what was wrong with our electrical system. I can see a lot of expense looming.

Highlight of the week, however ( you see how I’ve been leading up to this?) was David and Chrissy’s wedding last Wednesday. In normal times we would have been there, but because of the Covid restrictions, they had to have a small ceremony at Waterloo City Hall, followed by a celebration at their house with four of their friends and Chrissy’s children. Even Barbara and Roger, who only live an hour and a half away, were unable to go.

We Zoomed in on the rejoicings and had a drink with them – Cava supplied by Paul Henderson. Dot wore a long dress but no hat, despite my encouragement 🙂 They were clearly very happy, which was great to see, and they sent us some pictures the next day. Oliver and Amy joined in on FaceTime later, but we didn’t see them. We did have quite a long chat with Amy on FaceTime yesterday, and have also spoken at some length with Julia and Dave.

Another strange week, of course. No gallbladder pain, but feeling very tired and tempted to stay in bed. Antibiotics seem to be working (how would I know?) but had quite bad diarrhoea at lunchtime after feeling odd during the morning. This afternoon, however, I have just been for a short walk towards the Julian Bridge. Dot left me to continue towards the shops, and I walked home. Glad it wasn’t any further. Quite windy, but not cold. Not warm either.

We had quite a bit of rain yesterday, but of course I didn’t go near it, though I did put out the bins. It was our 52nd wedding anniversary, and Dot got a lovely card for me. I responded with a map card of Braemar and the Linn of Quoich, one of our favourite spots. We had had the card for ages, but didn’t want to send it to someone for whom it would have no meaning.

Earlier in the day Paul came round, and after the three of us had a drink I had quite a long talk with him while Dot went up for a successful visit to the chiropodist. Dot cooked some grilled steak in the evening as an anniversary meal.

Dot went to church on Sunday (St Aug at St Luke’s). It was Communion led by Sarah and went very well despite the oddness of everything. Next Sunday I’m supposed to be preaching. We’ll see. Tonight’s Zoom Cake and Compline has been called off because David, Bridget and Vicky are all camping, or loitering within tents, as I call it.

Dot had a long phone conversation with Caren Gazley this morning. She has had gall bladder problems for years but resisted having it out for a long time. She is now on a waiting list for an operation.

I have done a bit of reading and completed a few poems, as well as catching up on a few TV series and following the cricket. Don’t really like plonking myself in front of the TV, but don’t really feel like doing much else. Last day on antibiotics tomorrow; hope that will be a good thing. Dot is pretty well and very positive as always. What a star.

Written yesterday, July 22, in hospital

It’s 9am and it feels as if the day has half gone, but at the same time has hours and hours to go. It seems quite pleasant outside, when I catch the occasional glimpse. I have been in hospital for a week but hope to be going home this evening. 

I thought I had got over my June gallstones,  but on my birthday I felt bad, and with occasional relief the day after – I was able to go a garden centre with Dot, for instance – it gradually worsened. By Wednesday teatime it got much worse, and Dot rang 999. A clinician rang us back and decided we should go to A&E. So we did.

The usual tests ensued, and I ended up on a side room on Easton ward. Long time ago. After pain relief, I was transferred to Dilham ward (bed 9-1), had another CT scan, followed by a procedure involving putting a camera down my throat, through my gullet and into the gall bladder(or just below it) to remove a suspected stone, lodged near my pancreas. Turned out there was no stone (or it had passed or been miraculously dispersed – which I don’t rule out) but there seemed to be a fistula, which had trapped food. I wasn’t clear what a fistula was. The whole concept of eating I found very off-putting. Later a doctor drew me a diagram, which helped – with my understanding, that is. 

It was then decided I needed an MRI scan to take a closer look. I could have had this the next morning, but the nurses forgot to tell me not to eat and drink after midnight. In fact I had diarrhoea and asked specifically if I should eat.  I was told yes, I should flush it through. Pretty angry. Another day’s delay, with my hands and arms covered with bruises from attempts to affix cannulas. Made you really appreciate someone who knew how to take blood. 

Eventually I had the MRI scan, at about 7.30am on Tuesday. I was told there were no complications, but I had to fight the infection with at least two sorts of antibiotics – one oral, one intravenous. I needed to stay in hospital until my blood was back to normal. So I was sort of dumped back in bed and left for monitoring, while much more interesting and worse-off patients got all the attention. Quite rightly of course, but annoyingly if they happened to be South African, deaf, noisy and determined to get their rights. 

Gradually the diarrhoea abated and I felt a bit more like eating. Dot kept me going all through with daily two-hour masked visits, which were particularly valuable when I felt low. After the first few days I was able to read and have finished Ancillary Mercy and several newspapers, plus sudoku. 

The MRI scan was more complicated than I thought, involving lots of holding my breath, which was quite difficult. Amazingly thorough, though. Hard to imagine anything not being seen. Main problem with ward as usual is under-provision of toilets. I was “told off”  twice for using women’s toilets, but there is only one men’s toilet, and that’s often unusable. In fact all the sane nurses said you could use either; so I did. 

There is some confusion over whether I’ve had pancreatitis or not. However it’s apparently not my fault. Obviously guilt was my big worry. 

All pales into insignificance compared to Peter Walker, who was in the centre-opposite bed until yesterday.  Had a brief chat with him at one point. As he departed it became clear that he had been diagnosed with terminal cancer (probably liver) and was being taken to Priscilla Bacon Lodge. He looked totally devastated – and probably was. 

Incidentally I am now confident I don’t have COVID-19. Not yet, anyway. I have had at least six tests, all negative. 

Written today, July 23, at home

Dot came to see me in the afternoon, and eventually I was almost rushed away, without my discharge letter, because there was a printing problem. The duty doctor was a bit uncertain, because my white cell count wasn’t improving as much as it might. I was uncertain too, but really didn’t want to spend another night in hospital. So we made a run for it, with the assistance of nurse Mary, who had all my drugs ready, including a pack I know nothing about and as far as I know haven’t had before. They seem to be painkillers.

Felt very woosy on the way to the car and later – in fact I still do, a bit. Had a bit of food in the evening but not up to much. Went to bed early, as far as I can remember, and slept reasonably well. Dot has been doing her online retreat today, but we had lunch together. Amazingly, no phone calls (up to now, which is after 5pm). Des delivered the groceries, though. Timed to perfection so that Dot could go to the door.

Had a bath and went to sleep in it, which made me feel very strange. Watched a bit of TV, and later sat in the garden for a few minutes. Weather mild. Birds still friendly.

Not only did the gas man come again to drain the system and put a new valve in, but we had to have another gas man come on Saturday, because the boiler wasn’t working. Unfortunately this coincided with a couple of chilly days, but it seems to be all right now.

We had our hair cut on Friday after more than three months, which was a great relief. Unfortunately it may have been a shock to the system – combined with the cold house – because by the time we got to my 75th birthday on Sunday I was in a sad state, feeling rotten and not eating anything all day, which was sad for Dot, because she had wanted to celebrate by taking me to the coast. I was convinced I had Covid-19, but I probably haven’t. Anyway we shall soon know because I’m about to take my fourth test , if I can work out how to put the cardboard box together.

I did manage to lead the Zoom service in the evening, but it was touch and go. All I had to do was sit at a table and read the liturgy, then give a slightly controversial talk. June joined for the first time (from Beccles).

Another thing that may not have helped my condition was standing out in the road having a glass of wine on Friday evening and chatting with the neighbours. Seemed pretty harmless, but that’s what I did just before going into hospital a month ago.

The highlight of my birthday was FaceTime with David, Amy and Oliver in the afternoon. They had sent me some books – one on the Fens and Ancillary Mercy – and a stand for my iPhone.

I wish I felt more lively and well. If it’s not one thing, it’s another. Yesterday it was partly my head and partly my stomach, but in a different way to what what it had been earlier. I had a high temperature for a while. Most of the time I just want to go to sleep. Must be very depressing for Dot.

The gas engineer come today and enjoyed himself so much he stayed for over two hours. Not only that, he’s coming back on Tuesday, because he’s not sure that everything is right yet. There was a problem with one of the valves, and now he thinks there may be a blockage somewhere. Nice bloke. Hopefully he’ll sort it out.

We also got a letter from the hospital with a date to discuss my scan. September 18!!! On the plus side, it could mean there’s nothing seriously wrong, but on the minus side, I still don’t know what the problem is and so can’t really adjust my diet appropriately, and don’t know if I need to adjust it at all.

I rang the surgery this afternoon, but they hadn’t got the results yet. They suggested ringing back in a week. Fortunately, I’m not in pain at the moment.

So the diary is filling up. Next Friday we should be able to get our hair cut, barring a Covid-19 spike in Thorpe Hamlet, and on the 20th Oliver and Amy are planning to visit us, which is certainly something to look forward to.

Yesterday Anne came round in the morning, and she and Dot went up into the city . Dot bought some fruit from the market. It was verging on chilly, but in the afternoon Dot and I went up to Roger’s and had tea in the garden with him and Debbie, which was very pleasant. Even chillier today, though.

This morning I sorted out the liturgy for Sunday. We had another Cake and Compline on Tuesday, which went OK, though David (“screenitis”) and Claire (exhausted after annual leave, plus toothache) didn’t make it. Last night I had my first “proper” meal for several weeks – white fish, potatoes and asparagus.

The young blackbirds are getting to know us and are as familiar as their parents now.

It’s windy, a bit rainy and unsettled now, but last Thursday it was very warm, and I felt fine. Dot drove me up to the hospital, and after taking a couple of wrong turnings (on foot) we located Radiology. There were few people about, and we didn’t have to wait long. The radiologist was very pleasant and seemed surprised I’d been advised to have a fat-free diet – but that was probably nothing to do with the scan. Needless to say there were no results for me, and I was told that as it was urgent, it would probably take a couple of weeks…

Back home I felt well enough to catch up with some stuff on my computer. Wrote an article for my website and inserted a poem I’d written after my hospital stay 12 years ago when I had my prostate removed. Quite a few people responded to the article over the next few days, and sent best wishes.

The next day it rained a bit at first but was still very warm. Dot and I walked separately up to Boots to fetch our new glasses – long awaited. Again, few people around, and all went well. Very tired – didn’t fancy eating in morning, but had some sorbet when I got home. No real pain, but had a very bad night because I had to keep passing water as a result of the injection preceding the scan. Paul rang just before we went. Bought some flatbreads on the way home, then ran into Mary Cozens, who now lives round in the Recorder Road area. Later I took the plunge and rang Green Flag to cancel our breakdown policy on Dot’s car, which we haven’t owned for about six months. Took me about half an hour to get an answer, then about a minute to do the deed. Wonderful! You can’t do it online, of course.

It’s been hard to know what to eat, and I haven’t had much appetite. Have been keeping the fat intake low, but not at zero.

Had a fairly lazy day yesterday after quite a lot of rain overnight. Watched Norwich City play Manchester Utd in the FA Cup (quarter-finals), and they were very unlucky to lose after going down to ten men when Klose got a red card, which looked rather induced by the Manchester Utd player to me. Excellent goal by Todd Cantwell meant we were 1-1 at full time, and only lost at the very end of extra time.

Watched Spectre in the evening, and Dot fell asleep halfway through; so I washed up while she caught up. Earlier I rang my Aunt Thelma’s care home and made sure they had my details.

Another slow day today, but I have the liturgy ready for this evening. Spoke with David on FaceTime in the afternoon, and have been having text exchanges with Oliver about Norwich City.

I am in bed on a very warm Wednesday morning, and I have a pain in my side. This is disappointing, because yesterday was almost perfect: no pain at all, and I felt quite well. I wrote a couple of articles for Parish Pump, did a little editing for Paston, had a bath and watched a couple of films – most of War of the Worlds and all of The Magnificent Seven.

In fact I’d had very little pain for several days; so I’m not sure what’s going on. It’s a rather different pain, though: it doesn’t make me feel ill; it just hurts, and then mainly when I breathe deeply. Sorry – bit obsessed with pain at the moment. I have my CT scan tomorrow. Yesterday Dot went for a walk with Anne in Poringland, and while I was still in bed Carrie called. Had a chat from the window: she and Al are far from well, but she just keeps going.

We’ve cancelled Hello Fresh temporarily, because I’m not eating fat: Dot had an inventive few days eating what we had, and we gave one of the meals to Des when he brought our shopping last Thursday, when it rained quite bit to start with. Later Dot went for a walk down by Carrow Road. Judy phoned and David FaceTimed. We watched The Weaker Sex and an Italian film, Girl with a Pistol, which was quite good despite its plot leaps and coincidences. Took video of blackbird feeding babies.

The next day we got a letter from the hospital giving my scan appointment, which was a week away. Dot picked up some painkillers from the chemist. I had had a fairly unsatisfactory phone call with a doctor from Thorpewood the previous day, but at least he gave me enough painkillers to get to the scan. Watched Norwich lose 0-3 to Southampton – no inspiration there – and didn’t go out for the 6pm street drink. Not sure anyone did. Got my Father’s Day present from David – the latest Bob Dylan album. Have now played it of course, and I have to say it’s pretty impressive.

I was a bit better on Saturday, with the painkillers working pretty well. Over the weekend we watched all four episodes of Murder in the Outback – a documentary about a killing that may never have happened, one of the dodgiest witnesses I’ve ever come across, and a man convicted of the crime – and jailed for 28 years – who probably didn’t do it. All very unsatisfactory.

Sunday was Midsummer’s Day, and Father’s Day; so I played my album. Sarah the vicar rang up, because she had only just discovered I was ill. I managed to lead the St Augustine’s Zoom service: Dot set us up in the kitchen, using her laptop, and she read a piece from Robert Llewelyn about prayer and waiting which she had come upon while praying for me. She did it really well. Afterwards I felt exhausted and went to bed for about 90 minutes.

Since then the weather has been warm. On Monday Dot walked into the city and made an appointment at Boots on Friday for us to have our glassed fitted: lockdown restrictions have been eased somewhat. She also bought some fruit from the market. Amy FaceTimed me and sowed me her redecorated room, which was pretty impressive. She is always impressive of course.

Can’t say I’m enjoying the fat-free diet. Bit of a trial finding something that tastes nice and is good for me. Eating a lot of boiled eggs, tins of clear soup, quite a bit of fruit and some unbuttered bread and biscuits. No fun at all.

Bad few days. Eventually I had to ring 111 about my stomach, then go to the drop-in centre, then a couple of hours later to A &E. Dot couldn’t stay because of the Covid regulations.

I made slow, tortuous progress. They gave me morphine but didn’t ask me if it worked, which it didn’t. So I was in considerable pain with very little happening (Not sure if the y have fully comprehended the concepts of “emergency” and “urgency”) and eventually ended up in Dilham ward for assessment, then on Easton ward about 2am.

I had another Covid test, given me by a nurse (her first time) – and it almost made me sick. No-one told me whether it was positive or not; so I suppose it wasn’t. That makes three identical tests, all negative. I think I am impressing David with the number of tests I’m having.

I saw a couple of doctors, then a surgeon in the morning, but no-one was sure what was wrong. I was probably giving wrong answers to questions, because on reflection my head hasn’t been right and the pain did move about. The surgeon  wanted me to have a CAT scan (or CT scan, as they call it in Nottingham), but there was no slot available; so Dot picked me up mid-afternoon on Sunday and I have been home ever since.

My condition has varied a lot. Watched St Augustine’s on Zoom on Sunday, but was definitely not feeling well enough yesterday to take part in Cake and Compline, and Bridget organised it. Dot said it was good: I feel I have a lot of people praying for me. I feel quite a bit better at the moment.

Sheila Crisp from Poringland rang on Monday to say my last remaining aunt, Thelma, had gone into a care home – frail but mentally OK. Had quite long talk with Sheila after Dot took initial call.) There will be a lot to do there in due course, my being next of kin and all.

Have been eating  no-fat food on doctor’s instructions in case I have gallstones. Spoke to Paul at some length, and to Andrew on Sunday just after arriving home from hospital. Feeling very tired a lot of the time.

This evening however have had a reasonable meal. Halfway through watching The Sailisbury Poisonings. While flopping about have also watched The Take, an excellent thriller and several episodes of Mayans MC, which no-one talks about but is very good, though rather violent. We also saw Sticks and Stones, which was flawed but quite well done.

I am not in a good place at the moment, as they say. It has been raining most of the afternoon, and most of last night I was in a lot of pain with a stomach ache and the usual worries – could it be appendicitis, kidney infection etc? In fact I think it was a combination of things. I had forgotten to take my pills, including Lansoprazole, which blocks stomach acid, and I had some rather sharp grapes before going to bed, as well as some goat’s cheese earlier.

I was awake from 2am with what I think was painful gas, and nothing would shift it. In the end I had a bath, then went back to bed and took Paracetamol. Eventually I dozed off and woke at 10.50 this morning. Been feeling tired all day, of course, and my guts are not right.  Had a very small snack (biscuits and cheese) for lunch, and we’re going to have tinned fish on toast this evening.

I have not had the result of  my COVID test yet. I sent off for it on Saturday, and it arrived after 4pm on Monday – just to late to do the test that day because I couldn’t book a return courier after 4pm. So I had to wait till Tuesday morning to book a return courier, and couldn’t actually register and do the test till after 9pm. All very complicated again, with the additional problem of putting a cardboard box together. Not feeling too good, though Dot told the vicar I was fine, so I must have been.

Partly for that reason we didn’t wake up early enough on Sunday to attend St Luke’s Zoom service, but I led St Aug’s Zoom in the evening, though I forgot to include the agape meal. Liz Day did a good talk.

We have finished Season Three of Cardinal and have watched four out of six episodes of the most reason season. It’s not due to finish till next Wednesday, but we may watch it on iPlayer tonight.

Have been housebound for several days, except for one walk up to the Cathedral. Dot has been getting new soil from the people at No 7 and is doing good things to the garden. The blackbirds are multiplying, which has been fascinating.

A couple of days P came round out of the blue. He was in a bad state because his car had been hit by a visiting vehicle, and I had to calm him down and explain what he needed to do. He is not helped by his Parkinson’s in such situations. He stayed a long time. Bit worried abut him, but spoke to Joy, and I think things are being sorted out.

As well as the COVID test kit, several other things have arrived, including some more cheese, some device for cleaning my ears, and some first class stamps. Ear thing worked reasonably well, but still have a noise in my head all the time.

Yesterday I had a longish chat with B, whose husband has been put under a restraining order because of his unreasonable behaviour. He had told her she was schizophrenic, and i had to reassure her. She isn’t, of course.

Real change in the weather today; although there have been occasional bursts of sun, it has been mainly wet and cold – so much so that I had to turn the heating on again. I have hardly been outside, and it seems unlikely that I shall fulfil my quota of 4000 steps – the first time for over two months.

This is partly because I’ve been feeling quite unwell over the last day and a half, and am on Paracetamol for the first time sine the coronavirus scare started. I feel very tired, my head is stuffed, and I have had a dodgy throat – though that seems to have improved this afternoon. I also have a sore foot, though that must be a side issue – or possibly a foot issue. Dot seems to be fine, thankfully.

Over the last few days we have watched two full seasons of Cardinal, which is set in Algonquin Bay. Very well acted and plotted detective series, though on the minus side it’s extremely gory. We started watching it on iPlayer because a new series has started this week, and we thought we ought to see the earlier seasons. We got about an hour into the first one before realising we’d seen it years ago. I don’t think we’d seen the second one, though.

Our weather is not being reflected in Canada, where the sky is blue and the weather warm. It was like that here last Sunday, and we had lunch outside after St Luke’s Zoom Service for Pentecost, for which Dot and I shared a reading. Afterwards we went up to the Rosary, noting that there were more people around. Then there was St Augustine’s Zoom service , which ran rather late, partly because Howard, who was hosting it and therefore had a pivotal role, was late. He had been laying a patio. Vicky was also late. Afterwards we watched Great Expectations, during which I fell asleep two or three times. Old film, rather badly miscast, except for Mr Pocket.

Dot put some new soil down on Monday. It came from Matt and Angela (No 7), and they have since supplemented it with more. Had lunch outside, and had a lie down afterwards, followed by a walk to the Cathedral. Saw the Dean and said hello.

Tuesday was quite busy. It was still warm, and Anne came round in the morning for coffee in the garden after a walk with Dot up to the Rosary. I walked up on my own later and found some gravestones I’d been looking for which marked a train crash at Thorpe Station in 1882. At tea time we had a FaceTime meeting with Julia and Allen Higbee, during which I suddenly developed hay fever, which is odd because awe were in the living room at the time. It may be that that led to my feeling ill yesterday and today, but it had subsided by the evening, when I led a Cake and Compline session. Our tech expert David A completely lost track in the middle, and I had to take over as host, which was the first time I’d done it.

Hello Fresh arrived on Wednesday, and we began to catch sight of baby blackbirds being fed. Dot and I walked around the new development at St Anne’s Wharf, which is very nice if you have a flat looking on to the river, and I developed a pain in my right foot for no apparent reason. Not quite gone, but much better. David FaceTimed us in the evening: actually he FaceTimes us a lot, but I don’t always mention it. Really nice to be in contact with what’s going on in Canada.

Yesterday Dot did quite a lot of work in the garden, clearing out a new area under the hedge, and I had a very long phone conversation with Matt, followed by a short walk during a sunny break. Wasn’t feeling very energetic and went to bed early.

Felt pretty rotten first thing this morning, but took Paracetamol and had a bath, after which things improved. Caught up with e-mails. Dot did a lot of DSSO work, partly on computer and partly on the phone, and we spoke to David and Chrissy on FaceTime. More baby blackbird incidents. Evening wine in the street session cancelled because of the weather. Apparently Peter Stibbons is not well and has been in bed today.