Monthly Archives: May 2008

30 May 2008

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Back late last night from three days in Caddington, looking after the grandchildren during half term. Journey back was in heavy rain, and so was the journey down on Monday night. In between we had a little dry weather, but plenty of rain too. Vicky is working very hard on a project which is up against a difficult deadline; David took the opportunity to go up to Lancaster on one of his regular visits – a little bit worrying, as he has still got a kidney stone lodged above his bladder, but it shows no sign of moving.

On the Tuesday we stayed in the house, but on the Wednesday we braved the dodgy weather in the afternoon to go to Ashridge Forest, where we had a drink and a snack before popping into the visitors’ centre and shop. Oliver bought a frog, of which he quickly became fond. Amy got a ball and something else, which I’ve forgotten. I bought them a secondhand book each and one for Dot (three for £1). The forest was soggy and muddy. We drove over Ivinghoe Beacon on the way back, which is a pleasant road.

We spent all of yesterday at Whipsnade Zoo, leaving home not much after 10am in fine and dry weather that persisted for several hours before collapsing into solid rain midway through the afternoon, roughly at the point when Oliver and Amy were queueing to go on the train (see picture). We also went on the bus, and Oliver had an earlier ride on the train with me while Amy was on the bouncy castle. We paid two visits to the flying birds display (the first quite exceptional, the second pretty good) and took in the sea lions and the elephants, though we were a bit late for the latter, and Oliver was too shy to push himself forward for a good view. Still, he did see them. The gift shop was total chaos as it was pouring with rain and everyone funnelled in there, but we managed to emerge intact, and with something for each of the children. All in all, a pretty good day, with some nice food from the Marquee Cafe for lunch. Amy attempted a death plunge from her buggy, but this was only partially successful. Plunge spectacular, but not even minor injuries.

Whipsnade has a lot to offer with huge amounts of space and some lovely animals, but it is expensive, unless you live nearby and can get a season ticket.

Today has been mainly catching up, though Dot and I went to Park Farm for the usual routine, which was quite pleasant. I tried to find out the date of my operation, but it hasn’t been fixed yet. The nurse thought it wouldn’t be arranged until after Monday’s cystoscopy, but I should know on Tuesday. She felt sure it would be in June, though. Weather today a bit better, and the brown bin got emptied, though they hid it three doors down after emptying, presumably because they’re a bit miffed at having to empty it.

26 May 2008

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Picture of a boat on Wroxham Broad, taken on a brief visit this week. Doncaster have achieved promotion to the Championship by beating Leeds at Wembley, which is good on two counts: (a) Doncaster No 3 Gareth “Gazza” Roberts is Dot’s cousin’s son, who my son claims to have taught how to play; and (b) Leeds lost. Searched in vain for father Adrian on TV match report.

Last night we went to visit my nephew Joe and his wife Birgit for a drink and spent a pleasant couple of hours there, agreeing on most things. His father and mother are in Southampton visiting their other son after attending Joy’s brother’s funeral in Scarborough. Not sure how long they’ll be away.

Today not as much rain as anticipated. Wrote a piece for my website, then Dot and I went to the supermarket, only find that the rest of Norwich had decided to do the same thing at roughly the same time. Still managed to get home in time for a “healing” session with Diane and felt relaxed afterwards. I don’t think it’s healing in the sense of curing, but in the sense of blessing – creating healthy and balanced feelings.

Briefly – now 10.15pm and we’re about to leave for Caddington. Have just beaten Antonov in quite a hard game. Dot will drive.

25 May 2008

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This is Dot (right, if you’ve not been following so far) with our friend Stephanie, with whom we lunched at Cafe Rouge last Tuesday, when the weather was quite reasonable – as it was right up to last night. Today is pretty appalling – very wet indeed and by no means warm. Such changeability is all very English: maybe I should warn my cousin’s daughter Jeanette, who has just told me she and her husband are moving to Cornwall from South Africa. On the plus side, Cornwall is probably safer. Sandy, my Cape Town-based cousin (other side of the family), is installing an electric fence after recent violence not far from her house. She is also installing a swimming pool, though. I am hoping the pool is not too near the fence.

In the evening on Friday – catching the threads of my last post – Dot and I went back to Wroxham Barns to buy an arch for the garden. I had originally thought it far too big, but when we measured it, and the space, it was clearly OK. Dot has much better powers of visualisation than I do. It is now safely installed, and the surrounding foliage has been given instructions to flow over it. On the way back we called at our friend Ed’s, where he and a couple of other friends were meeting to pray for me. Sat out in the garden, and I had a rare lager. The lager wasn’t that rare; it was me drinking it that was unusual. I only drink lager in hot weather and when I’m very thirsty. Pretty much.

Yesterday was warm and quiet: I spent most of it going through a whole pile of magazines and newspapers that I had been meaning to read, and Dot was writing her school inspection report. We took some time out to erect the arch. Or to be more accurate, she took time out to put the arch together, and I helped her stand it up and tighten the nuts. This morning we went to church, where I was leading the service, and Dot and Phil were playing the music. Pouring with rain, but we left feeling very good. So many kind friends.

Dot is now visiting her aunt at Hethersett, who has a problem with her arm and needs some help. Sacrificially, I stayed at home and watched Lewis Hamilton win the Monaco Grand Prix. Everything seems to be pushing me towards the operation on my prostate, but I haven’t finally decided. As I told a friend, it’s like sitting in one of those restaurants where you can’t choose between several things on the menu, and you end up with the one you were inclining to at the moment the waiter happened to arrive.

23 May 2008

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Another picture from Jim and Ann’s visit: this one taken at the new boardwalk by Cockshoot Broad, close to Woodbastwick.

It’s still only 7.45am, but I couldn’t sleep after I woke about 6, though I slept very well till then. Have just finished listening to a conversation between Leonard Cohen and Philip Glass on iTunes, which was excellent – particularly Cohen on the subject of good poets who never get published. Last night I actually managed to win a chess game, though it was on a knife-edge at the end. I don’t know whether I should attribute the victory to the fact that the person I was playing had broken up with his girlfriend half an hour before we began, but I did actually play well, as I had done in the previous two games, both of which I lost. The second one – here on Wednesday night – was particularly annoying because I had a clear win on two occasions. This may have been part of the reason I was so down most of yesterday after barely sleeping on Wednesday night, but things generally seemed to get on top of me.

Dot was out most of the day at a training day for church school inspectors – one of these pointless exercises that administrators love to put on to justify their existence (my words, not hers). If people are already doing an excellent job on a regular basis, why waste time telling them what they already know? I was at home most of the day – which showed signs of becoming really summery – but went to get my prescription pills and to post a letter. A friend came round to discuss the Meditation website: we agreed the front page was pretty awful, but it need someone who knows what they’re doing to alter it. Spoke to David on webcam, and he has installed Twitter for me, largely so that we can see what each other is up to!

In the evening, while I was playing chess, Dot went to a DCC meeting which lasted a very long time: not sorry to have missed it.

Today is the day, of course. I see the consultant at 11.20 to see what state the cancer and I are in, and what should be done about it. More on that story later, as Kirsty Wark would say.

And here it is. We were actually called in early, but then had to sit and wait for a while, which was rather annoying. The good news is that the cancer has not spread out of the prostate. But I now have to make a decision on whether to have radiotherapy, which is long-winded but doesn’t involve cutting into my body; or to have the prostate removed. Both have similar risks as far as incontinence and impotence are concerned. An interesting additional factor is that I have a hernia that could be fixed at the same time if I have an operation. I also have something a bit odd to do with the wall of my bladder, which means I’m having a cystoscopy some time soon to check on it. Nothing to do with the prostate, apparently.

After getting the news from Mr Sethia, the consultant, Dot and I had a long chat with one of the specialist nurses, which clarified one or two issues. We then decided to go to Wroxham Barns to pick up the framed pictures for Vicky. We also had a baguette and ginger beer in the restaurant, all of which was very pleasant. A kind of muted celebration.

21 May 2008

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We eventually reached Caddington at 8pm after a very easy journey (Dot driving). The children had just gone to bed, so we had to creep in radioactively and keep quiet till they settled. The next day was David’s 36th birthday, which we celebrated with present-opening at breakfast and a barbecue at lunchtime, plus fun for the rest of the day largely featuring David’s new Wii fitness board – his present from us. Very impressed by it, especially as I did an excellent ski jump. (Don’t ask.) I was no good at anything else, though.

The picture above is Amy playing in the garden with Nana (out of picture). In the afternoon Oliver was at a party in St Albans. Weather was quite good, though not good enough to eat the barbecue outside.

Home in the evening, with Dot driving most of the way again: another fairly easy journey. On Monday she was at Thurton school doing a church school inspection: I caught up with this and that and then drove to Wroxham Barns with some pictures to be framed and stopped off at Wroxham Broad. I’d forgotten how unexciting it was: the public are restricted to a small pay-and-display car park from which you can see only part of the Broad and none of the marina. The sun was quite warm, and I hung around for about 20 minutes, then came home. Earlier I had a healing session with a friend of a friend, which was quite relaxing, but this was rather spoilt by the evening’s chess game, which I played very well and then lost again in time trouble. Left me rather down, and I didn’t sleep well. I have another game tonight and tomorrow night – both at home. What I need is a noisy crowd cheering me on.

Yesterday we took our friend Stephanie out to lunch at Cafe Rouge, which was tasty and good fun. And in the evening our usual friends came round for the usual Tuesday meal – sans David and Bridget, who are on holiday in Sussex and who rang me just beforehand. All very concerned about my wellbeing. The weather is teetering towards summer without any real sign of it wanting to commit itself.

17 May 2008

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This is an arty picture of my cousin Ann, taken through a Celtic cross in Cringleford graveyard, where I had taken her to see Frank’s grave. All being well, she is now back in Liverpool after a fairly busy week here – most of it in beautiful warm weather.

I am radioactive at the moment, having just had an injection at hospital in preparation for a body skeleton x-ray in about an hour’s time. This is the second of two tests to see if my prostate cancer has spread. Unfortunately it means we have had to delay our trip to Caddington. We had meant to go straight there from the hospital, but I discovered that I shouldn’t be close to children today. I can imagine what Oliver might think of being asked to stay two metres away from me, so we’ve decided to travel down after they’re in bed, which is a pity, but the best solution, I think.

I was thinking of travelling over to Coventry “on the way” to pick up my jacket and glasses, which I foolishly left there yesterday, when Phil and I went to a case conference for Andrew and shifted a bit of his stuff from Gareth’s. (I was feeling a bit off because of a swelling in my groin which is a bit mysterious, so didn’t have my mind on what I was doing.) I didn’t realise I’d left them until I got home. But Halina is going to post the glasses to me on Monday, and in the meantime I’ve bought a pair of reading glasses from Boots, which I haven’t quite got used to yet…

Yesterday’s journey wasn’t too bad, though the good weather had ended with a vengeance and there was quite a bit of rain, as there is today. Traffic was heavy on the way back, and we went across the Fens, which worked out well. We got back about 7pm.

Bit of a break there. I have now had my bone skeleton x-ray, which consisted of lying under a camera for about 20 minutes, then having to have a re-x-ray of my pelvis area because it hadn’t come out quite right. All totally silent, and not an unpleasant experience. They aren’t allowed to tell me the results, but I got a positive feel from the nurse (if you see what I mean). I could be completely wrong about that, needless to say. They may be trained to give positive feels.

While Ann and Jim were here, and while the weather was still summery, we did a bit of driving around. On Wednesday we all went to Reepham, where Ann and Jim went for a walk while Dot and I had our hair cut. Afterwards we all had lunch in Kerri’s, then, while Dot drove to North Walsham to see her aunt, the rest of us went home (those paying close attention will have spotted we must have taken two cars to Reepham). At home Paul came round to see his niece, then I went to the hospital with Dot for my MRI scan. Again, not an unpleasant experience, but very noisy. I was given an injection to relax my muscles, and then laid on a table that went into a huge tube. The scan is by magnets and is very loud – almost as if someone is outside trying to get in. I had to wear earphones, and there was supposed to be music, but it was practically inaudible. It lasted about 35 minutes and, strangely, I actually felt very peaceful in there.

On the Thursday it was still sunny but the wind turned very chilly. In the morning I took Ann and Jim on a tour of some spots which might have been familiar or interesting or both. We took in our grandmother’s house in Hall Road, and the ones on Caistor Lane and in Poringland. It turned out that Ann didn’t know the Poringland one. Her family had left for Africa in 1948, bef0re my grandparents moved there. We also looked at Tuckswood, and the two houses in Brian Avenue where I had grown up. We called at Venta Icenorum and had a short stroll, then had coffee at Dunston Hall Hotel before going to Cringleford and visiting Frank’s grave (and taking a quick look at his bungalow there).

Home for lunch, then we all – with Dot – went to Yelverton to look at our old house and on to Woodbastwick, where we parked by the river and walked to Cockshoot Broad: the boardwalk has been extended rather nicely. Also called at Ranworth and bought some ice cream before heading home in time to pick up Ann’s pictures from the chemist. In the evening Dave Hall came round to beat me at chess: I made a mess of the late opening. Had quite a long conversation with him.

While Phil and I were travelling to Coventry yesterday, Ann and Jim visited a cousin at North Walsham – whose parents coincidentally lived next door to Dot’s parents in Northfield Road – then another relative (I think) at Eckling Grange, Dereham. We had given them the option of staying an extra night, but they called to say they were on their way home and had reached Sleaford.

13 May 2008

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This my cousin Ann and her husband Jim, who are staying with us for a few days. The weather has turned slightly cooler today, though it’s still pleasant enough, and dry. Jim and Ann (Rumsby), who are from Liverpool, are in the city at the moment. Ann is my father’s eldest brother’s second daughter. The family left England for Africa in 1948, when I was three.

Jim and Ann arrived on Sunday, and yesterday we went to see a mutual aunt – not entirely successful as a visit, but successfully completed. I also got some more information about my grandfather and grandmother, though I’m not sure how accurate it was. In the evening I was supposed to play chess, but the guy I was playing had double-booked, so I returned home and we all watched Out of Africa, which Dot had bought on DVD partly because Jim and Ann had spent many years in Africa. We’d all seen it before but forgotten most of it. I’d certainly forgotten what an excellent film it is. In the morning I had given Jim and Ann a walking tout of the city, during which the picture above was taken – on Riverside. Have already sent several pictures to her youngest daughter, Dawn, who is very interested in family history.

This morning Phil and Joy came round for tea / coffee, and the man has just been to service the alarm.

David was very ill over the weekend with a painful kidney stone but is now much better. This morning he went for a CT scan and was told the stone was just above the bladder, and he will probably have more pain before it goes through. But at least he’s sure what it is and knows what’s happening. Still not at all nice, though. He’s relatively pain-free at the moment.

I have a date with my consultant on Friday week, after he gets the results of my two tests. On Sunday I was prayed for in church using oil, which felt very good. Nice Pentecost service, well led by Howard.

9 May 2008

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Just back from a couple of restful days with Audrey at Bury St Edmunds. This morning we went for a walk around Thurston – about three miles – with Dot and Audrey clearly in charge. Beautiful warm weather and a welcome breeze, much as it’s been all week. We had lunch at a garden centre. Yesterday we went to Lavenham, then had an evening meal at the pub down the road from Audrey’s house – Moreton Hall. Excellent steak and chips, and the others were very complimentary about their curries.

Dot needed a rest because she’d had an Exclusion Panel on Tuesday, which is always a bit wearing. Also our son is in a lot of pain from what seems to be a kidney stone – it’s just recurred, and he went to the doctor’s today. Much more concerned about him than about me. I feel more or less OK, though I haven’t been sleeping too well, and have got dates for my MRI scan and my x-ray – both next week. Vicky’s birthday tomorrow, and David has baked her a cake despite his pain – well-known Lenton stubbornness coming to the fore. She insisted he went to the doctor today.

Meanwhile my sister-in-law’s brother has died suddenly of a heart attack, I have to go to Coventry next Friday for a case meeting about my brother Andrew, and my cousin Anne and her husband Jim are arriving on Sunday for a few days. I also need to arrange meals with several friends – one of whom has just been bereaved. You know what they say: time is what prevents everything happening at once – lately it doesn’t seem to be working.

While at Audrey’s I did manage to write three poems – one to go with Lucy’s proposed film for Paston, one to go with Annette’s picture, and the other a fairly random one based loosely on Lavenham and the nature of reality, whatever that is.

4 May 2008

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This is Dot sitting under the clematis in our back garden: a really beautiful sight when it’s out, which unfortunately is only for a week or two a year. The picture was taken yesterday: a pretty acceptable day as far as the weather went. Today was also warm and dry, so maybe summer is nearly here.

On Friday evening we went to the cinema to see The Oxford Murders, which is a challenging and compelling film – quite intellectual in a way, but very satisfying. Lots of maths in it, which I always enjoy. Realised today that 55 is not only a fibonacci number but also the sum of numbers 1-10 inclusive. That’s got to be significant, hasn’t it?!

On Saturday we went to Park Farm for lunch, then on to Aylsham to a private view for Lucy Edwards (and others) at St Jude’s gallery. We parked in the church grounds and had a look inside the large and lovely church. I was feeling pretty groggy in the gallery, but it may have been because I had a mouthful of crab and shrimp pate at Park Farm, and I am slightly allergic to crab on occasion. Before going to Philip and Anne’s for a Chinese meal in the evening I took some acidophilus, which is brilliant for putting your stomach right, plus some paracetamol, after which I felt a lot better, and we had a nice evening. Caught a glimpse of their eldest daughter Louise, who may be moving back to Norfolk.

Today the music group did really well at church. We did one of my songs that I hadn’t played in public before, and I was very pleased with it – but the music generally went well. Followed by church lunch, which was fun as always. Afterwards gave Phyllis a lift home, someone else a lift to the station and then filled the car up with petrol.

Suzanne has been accepted for ordination training, which is great news for her. Sadly it does mean she’ll be away in Cambridge for a while. Norwich City’s last match of the season today: apparently they were all over Sheffield Wednesday, and lost 4-1. It’s not just Spurs who can do that. At least they’ve avoided relegation.

2 May 2008

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Another photo from our day out in Walcott with Oliver: here Dot and grandson face the awesome prospect of excavating some water from the sea without getting wet. As I remember, discretion triumphed.

This has been a very odd week, especially since receiving the news about my prostate. It’s as if reality has slipped off to the side somewhere and I’m only remotely attached to it. However, my energy is returning, and I am sleeping well. Got lots of support from everyone who knows and am feeling very positive. Most of the time. Yesterday I went up to the city to meet Dot after she went to the dentist’s, and we had lunch in John Lewis’ cafe, which is nicer than the full-blown restaurant and rarely very full. Afterwards she tried on a dress while I chatted to someone whose daughter was trying to find a dress for a wedding, then I left her to go to Marks and Spencer while I wondered home via Ottaker’s / Waterstone’s, where I bought an Explorer map of Norwich which I discovered later I already owned. So that’s one for each reality, then.

Dot arrived later with several items of clothing that she had bought at Marks, and we watched a couple of episodes of Battlestar Galactica, making a total of six this week. No wonder reality is seeming strange. Is Dot a Cylon? Am I? The Greens, who are almost certainly Cylons, got in at Thorpe Hamlet in yesterday’s elections and won two or three other seats, so reality is certainly not going to get any less strange.

I have a couple of poems in the latest Norwich Writers’ Circle anthology: about 840 were entered and fewer than 70 chosen, so I guess that has to be good. But I didn’t win anything with my Fish entries this year, although I got on the long list with my pre-biopsy short short story, Three-Minute Child:

THREE-MINUTE CHILD

“Do you read books?”

The old Norfolk boy looked at the paperback in my hand as if it were an alien artefact. He had come in from Dereham by bus, and clearly spent all his spare time ploughing, digging out ditches or dealing with cows.

“What else is there to do in bed?” I riposted.

“Aren’t you married?” he chortled – a Norfolk joke. His wife, a substantial pensioner spread out next to him, laughed sportingly.

Every three minutes (yes, I was counting) a man propelled a screaming child in a pushchair the length of the hospital waiting room. I guess he was trying to keep her quiet. It didn’t help.

Personally, I was feeling great. I had just lost a stone and felt full of life. The blood test, however, said I was full of death. My blood and the rest of my body disagreed at a pretty basic level. Reality was falling apart, and the child on wheels kept screaming.

I do read books. The doctor was running way behind, the nurses would not look at me, and time was distorted, spiralling down. Reading kept my mind off the black hole that was surely waiting. But there was another reason. Someone said the difference between fiction and real life was that fiction had to make sense. It was good that something made sense; so I carried a book everywhere.

The nurse looked at me hard and called my name. I felt good. The blood must be lying. But the three-minute child was still screaming, refusing to be soothed.