Here we are, past Epiphany, and Dot still hasn’t recovered. This morning I persuaded her to go to the doctor’s. She managed to get an appointment with a nurse, who said she had a particular virus that was prevalent this winter and which was extremely persistent. Hopefully she will soon expel it from her system. She is better, but still has some quite alarming coughing fits. She is having blood tests.

This is not to say she has been confined to bed, or even to the house, though she hasn’t been out very much. Last Wednesday she fulfilled an appointment at a school (North Elmham) and survived, but it took a lot out of her.

The next day I drove to Coventry to visit Andrew and take him his Christmas presents. It was quite a pleasant day, and the drive was fairly straightforward, with the new A14/M6 junction cutting a few more minutes off the time. Andrew seemed down but improved as I spoke to him, and eventually we went out for a short drive and even shorter walk in Memorial Park, starting from Coat of Arms Bridge Road.

However I learned from the staff that he had been quite bad recently, doing a lot of screaming and swearing, and being verbally aggressive. Strangely they seemed to take this in their stride and seemed quite positive towards him. He is on antibiotics (possible UTI) and is having his medication adjusted, which can’t help. He didn’t seem as well physically, either, being short of breath and easily tired.

On the same day Phil was seeing a consultant about his back problem, which it seems may have been exacerbated by the operation. They are now having a meeting of all the doctors involved (spinal and Parkinsons) to try to sort out what the real problem is, and what they can do about it. This should happen within a fortnight. Phil is in a lot of pain and has been put on morphine.

Meanwhile, I have three friends being treated for breast cancer, another with a degenerative disease and yet another in a wheelchair with continuing back and leg problems that could prove fatal. At the other extreme I myself saw a doctor on Saturday because of my continuing problems with a spot above my upper lip, which had become torn and was full of blood. Oddly it vanished overnight on Thursday, but I went to the doctor anyway and am having an array of blood tests later this week.

Later on Saturday wise were visited by Fred and four members of his family: his son John and grandson Tom; his son-in-law Mark and his son Freddie. I think that’s right. Mark’s wife Katie has had a very hard time over Christmas, with meningitis and other infections, but seems to be recovering OK. The Fredmobile was parked in our drive while they went to watch Norwich City draw 2-2 with Southampton in the Cup, thanks to a last-minute header. They called in for tea and cakes afterwards, which was nice, then drove back to Banbury.

Yesterday more faces from the past: Nicholas and Heather Vesey called into church after the service with their children, Sam and Jessica. Dot wasn’t there because of her cough and tiredness, and Nicholas said he was sorry to have missed her. I had quite a long talk with  Heather. Howard took the service, and because Eleanor had forgotten she was preaching, he did a meditation on Little Gidding, which I enjoyed very much.

This morning I went to Rob’s for a Paston Footprints meeting, which I found it hard to work up much enthusiasm for, partly because I was tired and arrived late following a long phone call with Carrie about the (unsatisfactory) work being done on the church hall. Still, Naomi is taking over as project manager, so things may be looking up.

Have struggled into the New Year. Dot has been ill ever since the Friday before Christmas, sometimes in bed all say, sometimes emerging for a while, and eventually being around most of the time, but coughing, spluttering and running out of energy. It seems she has the type of heavy cold shared by the Queen, among others, and it has severe symptoms and just hangs on in there. It’s viral, of course, so there’s nothing to be done. After all, this is only the 21st century.

I have done a huge amount of cooking and washing up, among other things. I now know everything there is to know about turkey crowns, ribs of beef and roast potatoes in goose fat. Dot got out of bed last Wednesday to accompany me to the supermarket, where we got £178 worth of food to tide us over into the new year. I don’t think Dot should have gone, but she had plans and was reluctant to see them go by the board.

David, Oliver and Amy arrived on the Thursday (29th), and we had pizzas in the evening, as well as opening most of our presents. The following day we had our real Christmas meal, which I cooked, as Dot was not feeling up to it, apart from the gravy. It wasn’t bad, actually.  David went out and bought a new router, my BT hub decided to give up the ghost. He also fitted additional memory into my computer, and all is going really well at the moment.

On New Year’s Eve, Dot cooked the meat, but I did everything else except the soup, which Dot had invented and was delicious.. The Robinsons came round and we had a proper New Year’s Eve experience, with my traditional quiz, Amy’s impenetrable picture quiz and a rather nice meal. We ended the year by playing Twenty Questions and (sadly) watching Robbie Williams on TV while Dot and Philip discussed the tribulations of Norwich City.

Earlier in the day Kevin, Lisa and Matthew came round for a drink or two, and we talked about the past, and the present. He is currently involved in buying a hotel in Southport, but I can’t talk about that. Nice to see them.

On Sunday I managed to rouse myself to lead the service at church. I even found one pathetic little candle (all the others were missing), and managed not to lose control when Adrian turned up and expressed himself. We had Anna, Adrian and Carrie as our worship group, and three in the congregation (Mary, Judy and Julienne).

The rest of the day was quite quiet (the weather was extremely unpleasant – damp and cold). I seem to remember that we played Dixit. At some point I managed to provoke the spot above my mouth to start bleeding and broke my glasses, but that may have been some other day.

Yesterday was one of those days that are spent in anticipation of something happening in the evening – in this case the family was returning home. Oliver had contracted Dot’s cold, so he stopped playing table tennis (I shall probably never beat him again), and was clearly not feeling well. In the afternoon we watched Monty Python and the Holy Grail, which on reflection was probably not suitable for Amy, though Oliver enjoyed the silly humour.

After a light tea (we had had a proper cooked lunch), the family gathered itself together and left at 6.45pm, reaching home safely. Dot and I mooched around a bit and watched Sherlock on TV, as well as having a lengthy telephone conversation with Dave Evetts, who appears to have booked us into Blakeney for a week in July. I still haven’t managed to visit Andrew.

Today I woke just in time to make a late appearance at the Archant coffee morning, largely because I wanted to get my glasses fixed at Boots. They transferred the lenses into new frames for free! I have also booked my spot in to see the doctor on Saturday at an unearthly hour, though I did consult the pharmacist at Boots, who said seeing the doctor was probably a good idea. He also said I should not have let it bleed, which suggested he would have been good with stable doors and horses as an alternative profession.

    Lilly, without penguin.

    Chris, without Anne.

Very strange Christmas. Dot has been ill since Friday with a heavy cold and has been in bed much of the time. She gets quite severe symptoms, much as I do, and these are not always understood by people who just “soldier on” with a cold. At times she is coughing so much she can hardly breathe, her nose and sinuses are full and she can’t stop sneezing. This is not flu, and she has no really high temperature, but it is completely debilitating, as well as being exhausting.

I am nowhere near 100% but am hoping to avoid catching it for obvious reasons, not the least of which is that it’s extremely unpleasant.

It started affecting her on Thursday night, when we had our neighbours round for what was otherwise a very successful evening – so successful, in fact, that people didn’t go home till 1.40am. Mairead was in hospital because of an infection relating to her breast cancer treatment, Bob was in Leeds and Michael and Margaret couldn’t make it; so we had Mary; Des and Chris; Sam, Chris and Ellie; and Jon. Dot didn’t say she wasn’t feeling well; so I didn’t notice in the general hubbub. Not that there was anything I could have done, other than throw everyone out.

The next day we were due for a buffet at the Hendersons at 6pm, which I mistook for 7pm. Dot wasn’t well enough to come, but I spent much of the time talking to Robin and Shelagh, and Neil and Harriet, as well as Paul. Had a brief chat with Maryta and Holly and Philip Butcher.

By Saturday Dot was really unwell, and I had to so some shopping for Phil and Joy, as well as get some Yorkshire puddings for the church meal yesterday. We had planned to see Rosie, Sheila and Lucy, but I decided not to go on my own; I was feeling pretty tired anyway. However, I did go to the Midnight Communion, at which I read the opening verses of St John’s Gospel, one of my favourite biblical passages. Sat with Judy, who read the Old Testament passage and assisted with the Communion (a privilege I declined).

Not a very big attendance, but quite a  nice service. Afterwards had a long chat with Chris Denton, Anne’s mother, who wanted to get a picture of me in the church to show Anne. Apparently the latter is deteriorating somewhat and cannot really get to church now. I then fixed the closure notices to the gates and managed to miss Carrie, who needed to take the keys after I’d locked up. But she caught me as I arrived home; so that was all right.

Yesterday Dot wasn’t at all well, so I made sure she was OK before I went off to the church to help with the Christmas dinner for the homeless and needy. Peeled a lot of potatoes with someone called Suzanne and gave a present of a penguin to Lilly, young daughter of Sarah, who Dot met by chance in Sahara when having lunch with Carrie. (The Sahara is a cafe on Magdalen Street – Ed)

Preparations were a bit chaotic because no-one knew how many people would turn up. In the end Carrie forgot the Yorkshire puddings I’d brought; so I cooked them myself and took them round, which worked quite well. I also carved the turkey. Given the chaos, the meal turned out well. A few people came from Thetford to help, but Robert decided he was needed at St Andrew’s Hall, which he clearly wasn’t.

Afterwards I took  a woman and her two boys home to near Eaton Park. They had just been to Tenerife and came to the meal at Carrie’s invitation. Before the meal, incidentally, I rang Andrew in Coventry to wish him a Happy Christmas and warn him we might not be coming today. He was not happy. I asked him if he got his present (a wildlife diary).  He said: “Yes.”

At the end of the day – just after 11.30pm – I drove to the church to open the gates and remove the notices. There was no-one about, but there was a loud bang. I think it might have been a firework, or possibly a gunshot. I came home.

The Archant meal last Friday was very pleasant. I sat between Su Lee and Michael Pollitt, which doesn’t sound like a recipe for relaxation, but it turned out surprisingly well in terms of conversation. Dot took me and had a drink with Tricia and Shelagh in the bar, but then went home. I was given a lift by Tricia part of the way home but then took the decision to walk the last bit, which may not have been a good idea. It seemed a long way, but I’m sure it was good for me, although I had to lie down afterwards. Not ill, just tired.

Good preparation, then, for a hectic weekend. On Saturday we sang carols in Anglia Square with members of St Luke’s and St Augustine’s, plus a brass quartet from Surrey Chapel with Derek Haylock (!).  There was a roundabout and a Santa Claus in attendance. All very spiritual.

Afterwards there was the big Paston book launch event at a chilly St Peter Hungate (one of the boilers was malfunctioning). We were a bit early; so Dot and I had a drink in the cafe opposite and were joined fortuitously by Paul, back from the Antarctic. Maryta apparently has pneumonia, or something similar. The holiday had its good and bad points, but the scenery was spectacular enough.

About 50 people joined us for the launch, which was very encouraging. The Knees provided mulled wine and mince pies, and I read from the book and did a general introduction. The poets present all read (Rob, James, Kay and I), and Dot read a poem by Lisa D’Onofrio. A small CNS contingent – Neville and Mary and Adrian and Jane. This week Jarrolds rang and wanted ten of the books; so I took them up.

No let-up on the Sunday, because it was the traditional alternative carol service, which I wrote, edited, produced and directed. This seemed to go well too, with over 30 people there. At one point Dot ran me through with a spear – quite forcefully, I thought. I feel sure I heard murmurs of approval. This was followed by the Christmas lunch, which was also highly satisfactory. We finished in time to get out of the hall and let the Quakers in for their afternoon booking. Just as well – they could have turned nasty.

On Monday Linda did our hair after postponing from the previous week, and in the evening we had our Christmas cake and compline at Vicky’s in Costessey, which was also nice. We gave a lift to Judy and Bridget, with David turning up later after his choral event in Eaton Park.

Dot was keen to go to Holt on Tuesday, as a pair of trousers she’s bought there was coming apart. We had a bit of trouble parking, but it turned out very well. I replaced a couple of bulbs at the lighting shop, Dot got a refund on her trousers and a couple of new tops and I got a pair of trousers and a jumper. We also bought some other presents and a bit of food, then hastened to North Walsham, where we had tea and mince pies with Jessie, who was in the last stages of a cold, which was slightly worrying.

In the evening we went to Denise and Peter’s in Yelverton for drinks and nibbles, which turned out to be really pleasant. We spent a long time talking to the people now living in Holly Bank (Liz + Kerry), and another couple (Linda + ?), who live in Tanglewood, down the road. Bernard and Mary were also there. Barbara O’Brien wasn’t, of course, because she’s just gone into a home in Norwich, suffering from dementia or something similar. Liz teaches at Alpington.

Yesterday I spent most of the day finishing wrapping parcels and sending Christmas e-messages, though I had to break off to go up to City Hall to pick up Claire’s present from Vicky (we’d left it at Vicky’s by mistake on Monday). Dot was having lunch with Carrie and working hard on decorating the house (not at the same time).

Today we are hosting neighbours for drinks and nibbles. It’s catching. Peter Wright rang up to say they couldn’t come because he’s developed a bad cold; I hope that’s not catching. Have been in the company of too many people with colds recently and am depending on Howard’s patent remedy to stay healthy (First Defence nasal spray). It’s on a knife edge.

Very sweet week. On Monday Dot went to three schools and collected a great deal of sugar. Sugar is heavy. I had pumped up the back tyres to prepare for it, happily. When she got home we made the mistake of transferring it (very carefully) to the garage, but it was actually collected from us later (or was it the next day?). So quite a bit of lifting going on.

Further sugar was collected on Wednesday, and we drove it out to Helen’s house in late afternoon. Very nice place they have – huge amount of ground and a lovely house too. I was wandering around the estate waiting for Helen to arrive when I was summoned by Dot’s horn: apparently Helen had been there all along (and her husband). More lifting. Fortunately I had had my eyes tested earlier in the day and passed fit. I had also done a bit of shopping.

(I should mention that the sugar came from schools that were collecting it for charity. It eventually makes its way to shelters for the homeless.)

On Tuesday Dot and I went to the pensioners’ canteen lunch, which was quite pleasant. Some current workers were also eating Christmas lunches in the canteen, no doubt passing comment on us old fogeys, or at least eyeing us askance. Afterwards Dot and I did a bit more shopping and paid in one of her cheques.

In the evening we went to a Julian session at the Greens’. Howard was ill and so retired to bed, but  Anna  produced some delicious mulled cider. The discussion was good too.

Yesterday was very tense, because neither the computer nor the printer would work properly. For some reason the computer was painfully slow whether or not I was working online, and the printer came up with a similar problem that I had with the earlier one. Happily both problems have been solved, I think. I have put some new cartridges in the printer (I suspect the old ones were faulty) and reinstalled the driver. The computer seems to be OK this morning: I suspect the problem was caused by a fault on Photos that was causing a loop. Of course all that may be nonsense, but it’s what I think. It may all go south again, as the Americans say.

Today I am off to the official Archant Christmas meal at the Holiday Inn. But before that I have to adjust the tyres on the car and hoover out some stray sugar.

As Christmas edges ever closer, we seem to have done most of the cards, and the presents are on their way to getting organised. I have also obtained a new printer, which seems to be working all right. Yesterday we took some flowers up the Rosary for Mum’s 105th birthday. There seems to be an increased police presence in the area – saw another one today. Healthy trend, but how long will it last?

On Tuesday I went to the pensioners’ coffee morning while Dot had her feet done. In the afternoon we both went to St Luke’s to provide music for the Christingle service for Angel Road school. Sadly, none of the children knew the songs David had chosen; so we struggled there. Still, it was nice to be lending a hand.

In the evening we went to St Peter Mancroft for a carol service featuring the Norwich Community Choir, in which our friend David Archer sings bass. It was a really good service, and the choir were excellent. They had a first-class soloist too.

Out again on Wednesday for the orchestra’s Christmas meal, with Dot defying the after-effects of her flu job (there weren’t any). The Christmas-themed buffet was at the Cellars in Eaton, and was most enjoyable. I’m getting to know quite a few of the orchestra now, such as Beverley (violin) and Georgina (other violin), not to mention Mary (clarinet), whose husband I was at school with.

On Thursday I caught up with a few things in the city, paying in a cheque through Barclays complex new machine, booking an eye test, visiting the Forum to discuss the new PHS book, getting a new strap put on Andrew’s watch and buying a few more Christmas cards at the Christian bookshop. Today I feel as if I’ve had a flu jab, but I expect it’s a proximity problem.

Just back from Holt, having been forced to stop a couple of times on the way to look at the stunning skyscape: fiery sun and an eerie mist rising from the fields. Holt itself was lovely on a fine wintry day: I met Dot there, and we had a meal at Bakers and Larners – in my case a superb egg-and-cress baguette.

Afterwards Dot insisted that I buy a pair of trousers, not because I wasn’t wearing any but because it was time I got some. I also got two shirts and a jumper, for the same reason. Dot had already got herself a couple of things (top and scarf), and she stayed on in Holt after I left, so that she could look for Christmas presents.

Yes, we had two cars. How did that happen? I’m glad you asked. Originally Dot was supposed to go to Holt with Anne, but Anne called off because of domestic difficulties not unrelated to the delivery of furniture or construction materials, or both. I said I would go instead, but later realised that I had to go to North Walsham for a Paston Heritage Society meeting. So I did that, then drove to Holt to meet Dot for lunch. See how it all fits together?

The PHS meeting was a bit crucial, because it has become apparent that our UEA lead person was unable to carry through everything the big project demanded: she has been ill herself, and her sister died suddenly. So we are trying to arrange for her to have a project manager (Naomi). The project itself may have to be rethought.

The trip to Coventry last Thursday went pretty well, really. The trains were on time, and the meeting with Helen, her colleague and Andrew’s new CPN (community psychiatric nurse) was good. I was able to put over my worry about Andrew not having the freedom to go out and his consequent frustration, and it seemed that we were all on the same wavelength. Andrew himself seemed much better than he was last time I saw him, and I had a long and quite coherent conversation with him. He seemed to understand the problem about his  going out, though he said he was much better than he used to be.

On Saturday we were up early to go to a performance of part one of The Messiah at St Luke’s. Vicki Ellis was principal flautist, and Carrie Sant was soprano. Th orchestra was St Gregory’s, and the choir the Oriole Singers. Needless to say several members of the orchestra were the usual suspects from Sillars. All quite enjoyable (we sat next to the vicar and his friend, who has arrived from Ghana), though the male soloists – especially the tenor – were not very good.

In the afternoon Dot went to Carrow Road, and Norwich City broke their run of defeats by beating Brentford 5-0 in an exciting game. Spurs also won 5-0.

Yesterday I was preaching at church, and the sermon went down quite well (I even got a phone call from the churchwarden telling me it was good). We spent the rest of the day sort of relating, in between trying to fix the printer, which steadfastly refuses to work despite many forays by me into the Net to try to find solutions. I’ve spent so much time on it I could probably have built a new one by now. Very annoying.

Very cold for the time of year, but happily dry over the last few days.  Last Friday I took Phil to the doctor’s in the morning, had a long wait in the car park and then a longer one when he had to hang around for a heart monitor.  So I walked to St Benedict’s and bought some new pegs for my guitar: one of them had broken and jammed in the hole, but I managed to free it. I also managed to free a hammer that had got jammed in the drawer by employing an ingenious method involving a hook and a piece of string. Satisfying.

David, Oliver and Amy came over to celebrate Dot’s birthday at the weekend, arriving mid-afternoon and going back mid-afternoon on Sunday. We had a roast dinner on the Saturday, and Amy used the remains of it to make a curry on the Sunday. I went to church but left early, missing a DCC meeting about the fabric and forgetting to pin up Dot’s Christmas dinner list.

During the weekend we managed to get in quite a bit of table tennis, and David sorted out my Cloud problems on the computer, caused by duplicate file-saving to different places in the Cloud. Lovely time all round.

Dot left shortly after David, heading south for a hotel in Croydon in preparation for a philosophy session at Rotherhithe next day.

On Monday I felt listless but walked up to pay in a cheque and then on a whim went to the Castle Museum, to see (mainly) an exhibition on the photography of Olive Edis. I have to say her pictures of people were sensational, given that they were taken in the late 19th century and early 20th. She knew how to catch the light.

Dot arrived back just after 7pm.

On Tuesday Angela and Rodney came round. We went to Prezzo’s for a quite acceptable lunch and then they came back to ours for the afternoon and stayed for a light tea. I showed them some holiday photos, but can’t work out why the TV shows the ones I’ve discarded or edited, and in a very random way. We also listened to some tapes we found in Ethel’s stuff, but there was not much of interest – just one of Vicki singing as a child, with which they plan to embarrass her as a Christmas “present”. This would have been a really nice day if I hadn’t been feeling rather under the weather for some reason.

Today I got out of the bath just in time to discover that I had put a visit to the cinema in my diary: so I got a £3 ticket for a seniors’ showing of The Magnificent Seven while Dot was at Diocesan House for a meeting with her boss. Very much enjoyed the film.Bought a train ticket for Coventry on the way home. I am due to attend a meeting there tomorrow.

Leytonstone proved interesting for Dot. There was the parking, which involved leaving the car on the pavement and finding a shop about a quarter of a mile away where she could pay, and then wedging the ticket in a specific position in the window of the car. (She took a photo of it in case of queries.) When, later in the day, she actually went to the school, she found the security precautions such that she was almost refused entrance, and then had to be accompanied everywhere – even to the toilet.

That was on Monday, and the philosophy session actually went pretty well. The hotel was good too. She was home by about 7.30pm, but Barbara didn’t make it to Devon till 10pm, what with flooding and traffic difficulties. This was storm Alex, apparently, the first named storm of the season. I’m not sure when the season starts.

Meanwhile I was visiting Joy and Phil to collect Dot’s birthday present, and then the supermarket – primarily to obtain dishwasher tablets, which had run out because we mistook the salt for a spare packet (same brand). Later I went up and bought a printer, which I had been meaning to do for ages. I even managed to set out up before Dot got home. The old one had clogged nozzles. I know the feeling.

Tuesday was Dot’s birthday, and we celebrated it by cleaning the house, which was surprisingly satisfying, and then accompanying the Robinsons to a meal at Bishop’s. I do not exaggerate when I say this was the best meal I have had for a very long time, and that includes some very good ones. The starter, main and sweet were all excellent – not too big, not too small and extremely tasty. For the record, I had marinated black bream, then lamb, then banana spring roll. Even the wine was delicious.

After that, Wednesday was a bit flat, though not for Dot, who had to go to Wreningham in the afternoon and to orchestra in the evening. I had intended to go to the Maddermarket in the evening, but couldn’t summon up the energy. Today Dot has been working in her study and is about to go for lunch with Carrie. Happily, the weather has turned much drier.

I missed the big moon, which was covered by a great deal of cloud. I wonder what else I’m missing.

It’s been a quiet week for me, but a busy one for Dot, who was talked into doing some performance management with a head teacher not a million miles from Hempnall. She spent a long time worrying about it and checking all she needed to know – and a good bit more – but when the event arrived on Friday, all went predictably well.

Today she’s travelling to London to do some philosophy in Leytonstone. I’m a bit worried, because there’s some pretty unpleasant weather down there, but she’s a good driver and I think the storm is abating; so I think she’ll be OK. She should be there soon. (And now she is….)

Earlier today we went to church: I had surrendered my sermon slot to Liz Day, who spoke very well about the way we should react to Trump and other worrying world events. Afterwards we learned a Polish carol, as supplied by a couple who have recently joined us from Poland.

Yesterday we popped into the St Augustine’s Christmas fair at the hall, and Dot bought a few things. I won an oven glove in the raffle. Hmm. Afterwards Dot and I continued to North Walsham, where we bought some flowers and a few other things at Sainsbury’s, then left the flowers at the cemetery and arrived at Jessie’s about ten minutes late, but unfortunately in good time to hear the Norwich City match against QPR. City had someone sent off in the first minute and gave away a penalty (not scored), and ended up losing 2-1. To compensate, we stayed on to watch Andy Murray win his tennis match – a nail-biting affair; so it could have been worse.

Linda found her scissors and cut our hair on Thursday, and on Friday I went to Pinky’s in Halesworth and read three of my poems to a good reception. Frost on the road as I drove back, but no mishaps, I’m happy to say.