Tag Archives: funeral

In the footsteps of Anne Boleyn – up to a point

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Hever Castle – childhood home of a Queen

On the brink of being ill for several days last week, but seem to have fought it off, though I’m not 100%. Main problem was an irritated upper respiratory tract, but also had an upset stomach and was feeling very tired. However…we made it to Hever Castle, Kent, home of the young Anne Boleyn and once owned, I’ve just discovered , by Sir John Fastalf, of Paston fame. It came to him through his wife, Millicent Scrope, and left him before he died.

Beautiful place, too. We had a large room with massive double bed, and the castle gardens were stunning in the late afternoon sun on Monday, when we arrived. In the evening we went to the King William VIII pub just outside the main entrance and had crayfish and steak pie (two separate items). Earlier we had the best Victoria sponge I can remember in the castle’s restaurant.

The journey down was straightforward until we got within about five miles of the Dartford crossing, when the traffic became very, very slow – often stationary. Fortunately we had plenty of time and arrived here less than half an hour after the earliest admission time. There is a billiard room and a luxurious lounge.

Yesterday was much chillier, but we made the most of the sun in the morning to walk round the lake after conquering the water maze! Felt pretty exhausted afterwards, for some reason, but Dot left me lying on the bed and went to the shop, after which we had a meal in the cafe. Dot;’s was apparently very nice, but my fish and chips was on the cool side.

Afterwards we went round the castle itself, which was quite impressive. From Anne Boleyn’s bedroom window we could see our bedroom window, but we didn’t lose our heads. In the evening we stayed in our room, ate sandwiches, read and watched a bit of TV.  Not all at once.

After some more walking in the grounds this morning, involuting a visit to the regimental museum and the church where Queen Elizabeth’s grandfather was buried, we had a cup of tea in the cafe and departed north. A very easy journey this time, stopping at the M11 services for a drink and a bite to eat, plus a bit of petrol and pumping up the tyres.

Last Wednesday we went to June Wallace’s funeral at the Hungate (Methodist) Church in Beccles. Nice service, and good to see Ian and William again. Had quite a long chat with William, who is living in an unconverted barn in Sussex and has a pet jackdaw. He is still creating leather and copper art for very rich people, has problems with his kidneys but is very positive. Amazing bloke. Ian has two teenage children and is divorced. He is a self-employed lorry driver. His ex-wife was there but didn’t sit with him or with the children. We stayed for refreshments.

On Friday Dot was rehearsing with the orchestra; so I took Judy to the Octagon Chapel for an event called The Sound of Silents. It consisted of old films of Norwich accompanied by local bands: Mammal Hands and Birds of Hell (which is one bloke with guests). Interesting audience split: young people who came to hear the bands and couldn’t really appreciate the films on one side, and older people who lived the films but found the music intrusive on the other. I liked the music, but found it a bit loud at times. Glad I went, though.

Then there was the weekend with the Coomes, which went well but quite quickly. Contrary to the weather forecast, the Saturday was not pleasant and pretty wet, off and on. Dot and I went to Morrisons in the morning, and we had a light lunch when the Coomes arrived. Then at 5pm we had a meal at Prezzo, followed by the concert at St Cuthberts. The latter went very well: the best I’ve heard them. Judy was there again, as were Fred and Sue, plus of course Neville and Mary.

We took the Coomes to church on Sunday as usual. The vicar spoke about Edith Cavell: today was the 100th anniversary of her death. Afterwards we went to Prezzo again (!) and then walked along the riverside path, where we encountered Ian Bullock briefly. The weather had changed to sunny and very pleasant. The Coomes left at around 4.30pm, and Dot and I watched rugby world cup and then Formula 1, then more television. We were pretty flaked out.

So all out packing was left to Monday  morning. But it worked pretty well really. My only worry was that I discovered a small leak in the bathroom before we left. I left towels on the floor and hoped it didn’t escalate. When we got back today the towels were soaked, but nothing worse. I rang up Anglian Water, with whom we have insurance, and as I write a plumber is trying to sort it out.

A few diversions

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David and Kristine in the Lebanese restaurant.
David and Kristine in the Lebanese restaurant.

A warm and dry day at the moment, though we’ve had plenty of rain in the last few days. The worst was on Wednesday, when Dot went down to see Barbara in her newly re-tyred car. Unfortunately, when she backed out from the parking space at Metfield she collided with a metal plate on the fence which managed to drag out the front of the car and deposit it on the ground. We then managed to do all the wrong things in the wrong order, with the result that the car is now in our drive awaiting a visit from someone representing the underwriters, who is resolutely failing to give us a time of arrival.

First Dot rang Green Flag, who came and fixed up the car so that it could be driven home. Unfortunately the GF man also suggested she ring the insurance company, and while she was doing this it got extremely complicated. She didn’t want to take pictures, because it now didn’t look bad, and she forgot to mention that the GF man had come. To cut a long story short, the insurance company sent a very nice man from down the road who transported the car to our driveway.

Meanwhile I had driven down to Metfield and back for no good reason (I thought the car might be taken to a local garage, which would have left Dot stranded). Because we were then away for two days, the underwriters’ man couldn’t contact us (despite Dot saying specifically that he should ring her mobile number) and he is still proving reluctant to actually speak to us. No doubt he fancies a long weekend away.

All very annoying. At least most of the rain happened while Dot was in the house.

On Thursday we headed for Leyton and a couple of days with the Coomes. We were delayed slightly because Dot had left her computer charger cable and plug at Barbara’s, and Barbara had hung it in a bag on her door for us to pick up. This added both time and distance to our journey, and the bit on the A140 was particularly slow: I always hated that road, and it has, unbelievably, got worse. The rest of the journey down the A12 wasn’t too bad, fortunately, and we arrived at Leyton around 1.15pm.

After a leisurely lunch we decided it was too late to go anywhere before the journey to Bond Street for our evening meal at a Lebanese restaurant called Fairuz. The tube was packed (Coomes said this was strange for a Sunday: I’m worried about him), and it started to rain as we emerged – fortunately only lightly. The meal was excellent, as was the wine. By the time we got home I could hardly keep my eyes open.

Yesterday it was dry and we went to William Morris’s house in Walthamstow. I drove, which was more of a challenge that I thought it would be. London is thick with buses, and there are so many markings and signs that it is hard to keep a lookout for pedestrians. But we eventually made it, and Dot spotted a car park. The house is beautifully organised as a museum, with interesting displays, and it’s not too big. We ended with a cup of tea in the cafe, during which I got a phone call from Minster Lodge to say that Andrew had been taken into hospital again after behaving bizarrely.

I rang the hospital today and even spoke to Andrew, who didn’t seem too bad at first but then became rather agitated. The nurse said he had seen Andrew like this before. Haven’t we all?

Two other noteworthy events last week. On Monday I lost a chess game to John Allison in the Dons knockout competition. I got a very good game and with one move I could have had a winning position. Unfortunately I didn’t see it, and it’s particularly annoying because it’s a move I could have seen and would have seen in the past. It reinforces my decision not to keep playing (except in exceptional circumstances).

Much more noteworthy on Tuesday was our neighbour Simon’s funeral at the RC Cathedral. Dot and I walked up there and met Bridget on the way. She was worried because she has a problem with her stomach and is awaiting tests.  The funeral itself was packed and moving: it was led by a family friend, who is a deacon at the Cathedral. Bob and Mary were there, but Mary was too emotional to talk afterwards.

We didn’t go to the cremation, but we did pop in to the Coach and Horses for the Reception, where we talked to Mairead’s friend Rachel (daughter of the deacon), and to Rachel’s mother, who is really nice. Also had a brief chat to Simone, who is Bronwen’s friend – bit of a coincidence – and said Bronwen was still in Norwich. Rather worrying.

Farewell to Philomena

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philomenaThe talk at Halesworth went all right, despite my rather sketchy knowledge of tanka. It was sunny but much, much colder then the previous day. I drove through Bridge Street but failed to locate the driveway where I was supposed to park; so I left the car in the pay-and-display and walked down. After finding it, I returned for the car. Made some  money on it, too. Paid 70p for parking but found £1 in the return slot.

The tension persisted while I had a cup of tea in the adjacent cafe and established that the talk was to be in the library. In the library the group, some nine strong, were given an exercise which was supposed to last about 15 minutes, but as they all had to read out what they’d written and everyone else had to comment on each effort, it actually lasted nearer 45 minutes. Ah, well. I did speak eventually and they seemed to be happy. The organiser, Tom Corbett, bought me a sandwich afterwards, I had a chat with some of the group, and the drive home was very relaxing.

I had quite a good night’s sleep after that, but the next day I had a chess game, playing for the A team against Norfolk and Norwich in the semi-final of the Williamson Cup. They were desperate, as I believe I mentioned. I walked there (they play at Thorpe House school) and played pretty well, considering I hadn’t had a competitive match for months. Then I did a pretty close impression of Norwich v Stoke:  I won a piece and should have finished off the game easily, but simplified when I shouldn’t have and eventually drew when all the pawns came off.

This was made worse by (a) the fact that my opponent was graded considerably below me and (b) the unfortunate detail that if I had won we’d have made the final. Still, the team captain managed to throw away a much more obvious win and lose; so I can’t really feel too bad about it. Afterwards I had to find a side gate and climb down a bank to get out of the school grounds (the gates only opened for cars), and then predictably had another bad night. I only have the stamina for half a game of chess nowadays.

The next day was better. I delivered Phil’s presents and birthday card and then went up to the chemist to get a prescription for Dot. On my return the plumber came and put a new ballcock in the tank in the loft, and on this basis (and a word from the vicar) I recommended him to Paul and Maryta for work they want doing on their potential new house on Ipswich Road.

That night (Wednesday) I slept badly again, waking with severe pains in my stomach. Looking back, this may have been caused by mouldy bread. I noticed today that the loaf I had used for supper on Wednesday was going off in a big way. Anyway, I had recovered enough not to put off Roger and Sue Eagle, who were scheduled to come for lunch on Thursday, did, and stayed till  about 5pm. Dot made soup, bread, a dessert and a rhubarb crumble, and we had a really nice time. We’re hoping they will join us for a week in Scotland later in the year.

Had quite a reasonable night last night and noticed this morning that I’ve lost a quarter of a stone. My blood test came back clear, but I’m still not feeling 100 per cent. Have written a few Lent poems.

Today was Philomena’s funeral. She has lived next-door-but-one to us for some 30 years, but I discovered much more from the funeral homily in the RC Cathedral than I ever knew about her. Her maiden name is O’Driscoll, for instance, which is much more fun than Humphry. Very nice service. I walked there, and Dot arrived by car after an early lunch with Carrie at the Reading Rooms. Also present: Mary from next door; Diane, who used to live next door; and her predecessors, whose name escapes me. They now have a big B&B on Lower Clarence Road. He used to drive round the city in a horse and cart, but he now has a mobility scooter.  There must be a song in that. Or maybe not.

David has been in Canada all this week and returns tonight. We haven’t been to the cinema this week yet. May not make it now.

Farewell to Joan Beales

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Peter and Joan’s wedding

The remnants of summer hung on for Joan Beales’ funeral at Attleborough on Friday. When the sun was out it was pleasant, but dark clouds brought a bit of a chill, which penetrated the church and brought a shiver to the cemetery. We arrived early, which was just as well because the car park was already full and we were lucky to find a slot where someone was just leaving.

So we were in the church over half an hour early, sitting at the back of the central section, in front of Rosie and Billy Wright. It then got rather confusing, because Angela arrived and said that Peter wanted us down the front. Because there wasn’t a huge amount of space there, and we didn’t want the immediate family to run out of seats, Angela and Dot sat at the front together, with me sitting further back next to Rodney, and Vicki elsewhere. Not ideal, especially as the funeral directors produced an extra row of seats which went unused.

It was a lovely service, though, with a really nice and thorough eulogy from Margaret White, a friend of Joan’s from her acting group. There were also recordings of Joan singing and then Laura singing (Fields of Gold). The burial was at the cemetery, across the car park, and we then went to a reception at Peter Beales Roses. The rain held off, and we enjoyed food, punch and conversation with other members of the family, including Donna, who had made the trip from Wolverhampton that morning and was returning to see a show in Birmingham in the evening. That’s what I call a full day.

At the reception I kept expecting Joan to come round every corner. She was a lovely woman, and will be much missed. Afterwards Dot and I called in on Auntie Ethel, who was understandably upset that she hadn’t been able to go. But it would have been too difficult. We were relieved after a while by Angela and Rodney, who had been to Waitrose.

Yesterday, while Dot was in the city, talking to Anne and buying a new suitcase, I finished sorting out my old chess games (up to a point) and wrote an article for En Passant, featuring the game I won for the school chess championship in 1962!  After a bad night with a dodgy stomach, I delivered my sermon this morning and then – with help from Howard and Phil – cleared up some paint that had been thrown over the paving stones outside the hall. As autumn finally arrived in early afternoon, with a chill heavy rain, Dot and I  decided to stay in the house for the rest of the day, spending part of it rewriting stuff on Dot’s P4C page, using html.

Walking in uncharted territory

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A less than brilliant picture of Dot and Kristine crossing London Bridge in late afternoon

Surprisingly, I finished Amy’s story shortly after my last post: it all came to me in a flash, just before Tuesday Group. I posted it off the next day, together with the last Little story in booklet form. I’ve also managed to write nearly two poems for Ian Fosten, so things are looking up. However, I’ve not been feeling good for a while: intermittent bursts of feeling quite peculiar, involving head and stomach and chills. Have managed to keep going with paracetamol, and much of the time I’m OK. But it keeps coming back. Not for long, I hope.

Happily Dot’s dizziness has gone. We suspect that the doctor got rid of it when she did the famous manoeuvre early last week. When Dot returned on Friday, she did it again and found that the revealing eye-fluttering had gone and she was OK – just in time for a full weekend, that started with a meal at the Robinsons in their shiny new reconstructed house.

I see I have got all out of order here. Back to Wednesday, when we had our hair done and I went to the dentist for a filling, then headed straight to Jessie’s with Dot. Last of the mince pies – or so I thought. The following day we depended on the weather forecast and were rewarded. Despite a heavy grey sky and some rain we drove to Bodham, where we had a drink at the Red Hart before heading off across the fields to Baconsthorpe Castle on one of the Coast Partnership’s trial walks. The sky quickly cleared and became bright blue, which compensated for the chill in the air.

At the castle we managed to go wrong –  mainly because we’d been there before and didn’t read the directions very carefully. We reached the village by the wrong path and headed into uncharted territory – uncharted by us or the Coast Partnership, that is. We couldn’t make sense of the instructions, but relied on our sense of direction and found an alternative footpath that took us back to the castle, where it became apparent what had happened. Now on the right track, we proceeded wearily back to Bodham – 5-6 miles in all.

We spent the weekend with David and Kristine, arriving just before noon at Leyton after a smooth journey. Kristine produced a delicious Spanish crumble with chorizo sausages that would probably have been enough for the rest of the day; however, we went to Baharat Indian restaurant in the evening and had another large meal. In between, we took the tube to Bank, discovered the Northern Line was shut and spent some time walking in Bank station before we could find the way out on to the street. (Several other people were having the same problem – signs were hopeless.) Eventually we made it out and walked past Monument and across London Bridge before visiting a bookstore near David’s office.

Lovely area of London that we hadn’t visited before. We proceeded on to Tower Bridge and had tea/coffee in a busy place much frequented by David before heading for home by crossing Tower Bridge and catching the tube outside the Tower of London. Lovely day, and a beautiful, busy evening. Didn’t sleep all that well, however.

The next day we drove up to Spellbrook Three Horseshoes and experienced the slowest service anywhere in the world (possibly). Arriving just before 1pm, we met Phil, Jane, Lydia and Alistair, and then David, who had driven up from Caddington. It reached 2.30pm before our main course was served. We abandoned the potential dessert and drove to Phil Coomes’ house for Christmas cake and mince pie.

Today was Frank Mason’s funeral, and David had another long drive to arrive in good time to get to St Faith’s Crematorium with us. Nice service: afterwards most of the attendees joined Jessie and Roger at Elm Tree Farm for refreshments. Teresa was there, as were all the usual suspects. Afterwards we drove David back to ours for his return journey before joining Jessie and Liz at Roger’s for a chat and the odd drink. Later Liz left for another appointment (her daughter’s birthday celebration, I think), and the four of us ended up at Oaklands Hotel for a carvery. That wasn’t our intention, but the “proper” restaurant opened an hour later than its website promised. Nice rhubarb crumble to finish. Pretty tired now.

Surprising decision to spring-clean study

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Oliver tries to hide behind some flowers painted on the back door at Caddington

A blue, sunny day, but a very chilly wind. I am ready for some real spring weather now. Dot is already on her second trip out, this time to the chiropractor, and I am sitting in a much tidier study than usual, having decided spontaneously yesterday to sort it out – with Dot’s enthusiastic support. The amazing thing was that it was my idea: I am normally reluctant to start big projects. If it were not so, I would have written several novels by now.

We spent the previous day at Caddington, arriving almost simultaneously at noon with David and the children, who had been to the opticians, discovering that Oliver has 20-20 vision. We had intended to join them at the Harvester, but Oliver had been a bit below par. However he brightened up during the day, and we had a couple of games of football in the garden. Amy was in good form too, as was David. Dot cooked roast chicken for supper – with all the trimmings, of course. We left late, but Dot drove fast, and we got home just before midnight.

Amy in cheerleader role, with sacrificial bear

Other events this past seven days:

Monday 7th: won a hard game of chess against Lowestoft. I was winning out of the opening, then almost lost, then winning again. I scraped home with minutes to spare.

Tuesday 8th: Spent about 90 minutes with Lucy at Dragon Hall with its enthusiastic events organiser, Sarah Power. Arranged to put on a week of Paston-related stuff in November, including a Paston walk or two led by me and an art and poetry workshop (Annette and me). Need to learn a lot more about the Pastons before I do the walk. Also took Annette’s laptop into Byte for repair (picked up Friday, cost £360).

Wednesday 9th: Haircut in afternoon, followed by an evening meal at Bishop’s with the Higbees. Excellent food, with price to match. Still, if we’d got an electrician to put lights in our loft, it would have cost a lot more, and we wouldn’t have got the meal, or the pleasure of the Higbees’ company.

Friday 10th: Stunning day for Phyllis Todd’s phuneral at St Augustine’s. Church pretty much full, and lots of the congregation turned up with food and drink for the wake afterwards. I had to give a brief talk on what Phyllis meant to the church. Sad but also pleasant occasion, which Phyllis’s daughter Janet much appreciated. (By contrast, tiny congregation on Sunday to hear Mark Heybourne: single figures, if you don’t count the music group and the service leader.)

Later we picked up Jessie from hospital, where she had been having eye tests (she may have had a minor stroke). Brought her home for tea and then drove to North Walsham. Left Dot with her while I went to a Paston Heritage Society Trustees’ meeting at Dayspring. Found the meeting quite frustrating. We need to sort out membership and avoid getting lumbered with a church that will fall down if we don’t raise huge amounts of money.

Have been watching horrific pictures of Japanese tsunami, which has devastated huge areas and must have killed many thousands. If you’re in its path, there’s no way of avoiding it. The ultimate feeling of helplessness.

• Since writing the first two paragraphs above, have been out for a short walk and to book us in for a performance of Under Milk Wood at Dragon Hall next Wednesday. Went with Dot as far as the wonderful Hobbycraft, where she bought some boxes to aid her in sorting some old pictures uncovered in my room.